April 15, 2020

Video Games

Nathan and Jennifer’s video game addiction had gone to a new level. They were now full-on addicts, playing upwards of 7 hours per day, their parents having been trapped out of state on a ski-trip. They were working their way through the house’s reserves of ice cream, and had tied up the house keeper in the basement, feeding her one chocolate Easter egg and a raw potato per day.

However by the sixth day of this glorious exertion into hedonistic happiness, they had started noticing something strange. In Legends of Zelda, Link had developed a cough, and kept on having to stop to bend over and sneeze. An hour into building a mighty empire in Civilisation 8, they saw that their population weren’t leaving their houses, their armies were keeping a 2 meter distance between each soldier, and their elderly general-leader was requesting food to be left outside his tent. Worst of all, their Pokémon weren’t leaving the Poké balls.

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Shortly afterwards, they’d received a message that due to inbreeding in his family leading to underlying health issues, Pikachu had contracted a mysterious condition, and gone to Poké Heaven.

This was when they started to believe that reality and unreality were merging, that our version of the multiverse had become corrupted, and that life as they had known it was over.

It was also when they began taking large doses of their mother’s Oxycontin, partly to mourn Pikachu, partly to forget about the bad smell coming from the basement.

Written by Sam.

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