April 25, 2020

The Art of The Siesta

Mary was desperate to master the art of the siesta. The midday nap.


She’d never been able to do it. Either she didn’t get to sleep and ended up masturbating, or she slept for 4 hours and woke up at dinner time, hungry and irritated.

Now was her chance. There was nothing else for her to do.

She lit some candles, smothered herself in essential oils, and closed her eyes.

Every time she felt her hand slither downwards, she stopped herself and focused on sleep.

In order to make sure she woke up, she had placed a candle at an angle that meant once it burned to a certain point, about 20 minutes from now, it would light a piece of string that would then ignite some incense, waking her up to a beautiful sensual smell.

Mary, however, had underestimated how deep her sleep could be.

She woke up 4 hours later, the incense having burnt through and burnt off all her hair. Her cat sat and licked her now bald and singed head.

“Putain” said Mary (she was learning French on Duolingo).


… Then she masturbated.


More Work
February 2, 2023
January 10, 2023
First Day Back: Opening the Veins of Bogotá

I write this perched on the fourth floor of an improbably slim restaurant in the La Candelaria area of Bogotá, Colombia’s capital and largest city. On my plate is Calentado, made up of beans, rice, onion, plenty of sausage, and a big fried egg.

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