Katie had never had phone sex before. A few lingerie shots and a bit of tame sexting, yes. But never phone sex. And in one hour she was going to be losing her phone sex virginity.

It’s not like Katie was a prude, she’d just never felt the need for it before. When she was seventeen her boyfriend had lived two doors down from her, and at university her sex life had quite naturally transitioned into a string of Tinder dates and alcohol fuelled hook-ups. Since graduating she’d met her current boyfriend James on one of the apps — he’d been a sure swipe right. On their first few dates, he’d been funny and charming, and somehow she hadn’t even been put off by learning he worked in consultancy. It wasn’t long before she was spending most nights of the week with him — she even had a toothbrush at his place. But that was before the lockdown. Before Coronavirus. Before you were only allowed out for essential trips. And apparently, popping over to your boyfriend’s for a quickie, was not considered essential.

Katie checked her phone. 30 minutes and counting. She wondered whether she really found the idea of phone sex a turn on at all. She’d never felt the need for dirty talk in her own sex life. Someone could say what they wanted to her, but as long as they touched her in the right way, she was theirs. In her second year, she’d dated a girl called Ash for a few months, who used to ask Katie to describe what she was doing as she was doing it. Katie could never take it seriously, and was afflicted with the unsexiest things popping into her head at the most inconvenient times. She’d once told Ash that she was going to get her hot. So hot. Hot enough to fry an egg on her skin… The relationship had fizzled out fairly quickly after that. It’s not like she hated sexy talk: once she’d even had a wank to a scene in the film Her where Joaquin Phoenix has sex with his AI girlfriend for the first time. But she thought it was probably just because she found Scarlett Johansson’s robot voice really sexy.

It was now approaching three weeks since she’d seen James. The lockdown didn’t look like it was going to be ending any time soon and she was getting to the end of her tether. So far they’d been talking almost every night but were quickly running out of things to say; there were only so many times you could ask about someone’s broken tumble-dryer. The pair were used to going on dates to art exhibitions and swanky cocktail bars — this solitary lifestyle was quite an adjustment. When she’d suggested it, James had jumped at the idea of phone sex. Or more accurately Skype sex. Facetime sex. Zoom sex? That bit had been his suggestion, telling her quite emphatically that he would need a visual aid. She supposed that his visual aid might as well be her rather than some random woman on the internet.

15 minutes. Katie had a sudden thought. She hadn’t shaved her legs. It seemed very low down on the priority list during the pandemic. She wasn’t exactly lacking the time to do it, but it’s not like anyone was seeing them. If she was honest with herself, she was enjoying how long her leg hair had gotten recently and it was unlikely James would even be able to see the hair on screen. She decided not to worry. With ten minutes to go, Katie slipped off the greying sports bra she’d been wearing all day and put on her plain black halter neck. She’d considered wearing the red lacy number she’d bought for Valentine’s Day but remembered how itchy it had been. Not what she would want when trying to concentrate on the task at hand.

She now had just five minutes to go and opening her phone camera, she practiced holding it at different angles. She tried leaning it at the end of the bed. No, too much chin. Pilling up a couple of pillows, she rested it to give a more flattering angle. Staring at herself in the phone, she waited for James to call. It was strange, just watching herself like this. She supposed that during the video call she’d be able to see herself in the top corner the whole time. Weird.

Slowly, something began to dawn on her but before she could pick up her phone and call the whole thing off, it began to buzz and his picture filled her screen.

Her final, horrified thought as she answered was the realisation that she was going to see her own cum face.

Written by Niamh (@incredibleniamh)
Illustrated by Helena (@Helenabonastre)

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